It’s okay...

It’s okay to sometimes feel like ur failing and that all you want to do is quit, or just want to run away and cry to your self. Today I have had a rough day with the boys, as they are both feeling ill and I’m over tiered and with a waking night shift ahead of me tonight !

It started last night at 12.38 Freddy woke up shouting which then woke Harry up. Harry at the minute is a nightmare at night. He will wake for a bottle and then take at least an hour if not longer to settle (and that’s in our bed) god forbid if we tried to put him back in his bed. When we do try he kicks off and I don’t mean just a bit of crying, I mean full on tantrum with head butting and kicking the side of the cot. When I say head butt I don’t mean tapping I mean full blown head butting.

Fast forward to 7.10 I have slept about 2 1/2 - 3 hours in total since Harry waking up, as he is like an eel. So straight away I’m grumpy and short tempered.

Breakfast time went with out a problem, well harry refuses anything to eat but that’s nothing new.

Then all hell broke loose as Harry needed a nap but wouldnt give in, Freddy was being the noisiest little man I can imagine! For some reason just as Harry was shutting his eyes Freddy decided to get Harry’s new Peopa pig car out, and turn it up full volume. Which then caused a major break down on Harry’s part as he wanted the car. After persuading Freddy to let grumpy have the car I managed to get him to sleep.

Only 35 mins later Freddy woke him up! To be fare Harry wasn’t as grumpy as he normally would be if someone woke him up.

That was because it was a delayed reaction! 20 minutes later Harry became a massive snotty ball of anger and upset! We had toys flying, things being kicked and things being used as head butting instruments.

I am trying to be patient, I’m trying to be understanding as he is t feeling great and that he has been woken up, but I snap at both of them. Tell them I quit and that I don’t want to play any more. I am thinking to my self is there any way I can just quit being a mummy just for today ?

I come upstairs and start writing this blog to which the big one comes in to me and says ‘ mummy can we be best friends again’. Well now I am a blubbering mess and I’m not sure if it was cuz he was so sweet after I have and a day of taking it all out on him, or if it is cuz I have just seen, yhe mess they have made in the toy room while I was upstairs.

So I have still got dinner, bath time and bed time to contend with, and that all before work tonight. At least come 18.00 andy will be home and at usually cheers both boys up!

But just remember! Your Kids love you. They never remember the telling offs and the bad days. They always remember the good days and the memories we make with them. They are only little for a little while so enjoy it while you can!

Just remeber any mother that says she never has to tell her kids off, or that they are so well behaved, are either lying or has well trained dogs !

We we are all learning and allowed to have bad days we are human and entitled to feel shit sometimes.

Danii

xx